Even though the reality is harsh, there is always the possibility that your daughter has a toxic personality. You can learn the pattern of your daughter’s behavior by assessing the troubles she regularly deals with. Has she ever told you that she betrayed her friends? Does she periodically break the curfew? However, there is a thin line between setting boundaries and possessing a toxic personality. For instance, if she is kind to those who are nice to her and vicious once she gets disrespected, she knows her limits.
But if she keeps making trouble and sweating the small stuff, beware. Read our list thoroughly, and you will find out if these signs that you have a toxic daughter match your case. Learn and understand her traits so you can create space for improvement. Our list of signs that you have a toxic daughter will help you step into her world and walk in her shoes. Thus, instead of advising you to tell her to be nice, we offer smooth and empathetic strategies for you to let your daughter learns her lessons.
1. She Thinks the World Revolves Around Her
Being confident doesn’t mean you think the world revolves around you. A confident daughter knows how capable she is while owning her flaws. But if she is full of herself, she keeps reminding you how blessed you are to have a kid like her.
If you are not sure this is one of the signs that you have a toxic daughter, pay attention to how she sets her priorities. For instance, is she okay with not constantly splurging money on tertiary items within your family’s budget to look fabulous? Will she sincerely apologize when she makes mistakes? Does she think she is way better than others?
2. Hello, Drama Queen!
Having a cheerful and expressive daughter is fun, but not until she turns everything into a scene. No matter what happens to her, she consistently exaggerates and overreacts to everything. The motives vary, from looking for attention to picking fights.
What makes a drama queen toxic is that this personality can be perceived as untrustworthy. She needs to make up everything just to get attention and is afraid of being authentic. Not to mention the disturbing noise she makes when overreacting to everything.
3. She is a Control Freak
One of the obvious signs that you have a toxic daughter is that she often bosses you around. She always instructs everyone to do what she wants them to, with or without threats. Reflect on yourself, do you often dictate to others in front of your daughter without saying “please,” “sorry,” and “thank you” nicely?
A control freak daughter will make you feel like a subordinate to her. In her mind, she wants everyone to serve her and follow her rules. You will feel drained and unimportant if you keep saying yes to her. Don’t make this habitual, as she won’t learn to ask people politely.
4. Little Miss Gossip
One day your daughter and her friends were involved in a fun conversation about another friend. They had fun mixing rumors, truth, and assumptions while laughing at their friend’s flaws. Your daughter even bothered to spread what may be “fake news” to others without hesitation.
Your daughter is always up for gossip, which makes her toxic. We understand that there is an explained enjoyment in talking about others because humans tend to compare. That is our natural trait. But passing unconfirmed pieces of information along is a whole other story.
5. Loves to Drag Others Down
We know that competition among girls is sometimes damaging, which is why the famous #WomenSupportWomen was born. But this doesn’t justify your daughter’s desire to drag others down, especially when her friends look happier and more successful. We all want a daughter who is genuinely happy for others’ happiness. Have you told her to be grateful for the simplest things?
When your daughter always wants to put others down out of her jealousy and insecurity, that’s one of the signs that you have a toxic daughter. Teach them to be thankful for little things such as food, fresh air, and a roof above their head; and that everyone has their timeline. Supporting each other will save her more energy than acting out of her insecurity. And that energy can be used to work on herself to be better.
6. She is Manipulative
Sometimes it is challenging to acknowledge manipulative people. Because if you learn more profoundly about manipulation tactics, flattery is one of them—well, who doesn’t like compliments anyway? If your daughter praises you because she wants something from you, that’s possibly one of the signs that you have a toxic daughter.
Other examples of a manipulative daughter include guilt-tripping you to make you feel guilty about your actions and gaslighting you to control the situation. The measures do not limit to these two; she can even play the victim card, use violence, or lie to get things done. Try to communicate better with her and show her that we can express our intentions clearly without being manipulative.
7. An Avid Shopper
One of the signs that you have a toxic daughter is when she can’t contain her desire to shop and splurge money on unnecessary stuff. While she is a control freak who always wants to be in charge, she fails at controlling herself. This one is considered toxic because, at some point, your daughter can cause a family’s financial crisis.
Admit her to a personal finance class or course. You can also inspire her to sell her preloved stuff so she can only go shopping once her stuff is sold. Enforce your rules on pocket money to teach her financial responsibility.
8. She is Rude and Bad-Mannered
It is one of the tangible signs that you have a toxic daughter. We mean, who can’t tolerate an ill-mannered girl? Instead of communicating what she wants, she throws uncontrollable tantrums at you. One way to assess if your daughter falls into this category is by seeing if the magic words “thank you,” “please,” and “sorry” are existent in her dictionary.
Other than that, she is overly impatient and tends to be rude. Pay attention when you’re at the restaurant. See how she interacts with waiters or security officers, because that speaks volumes about her character.
9. Surrounded by Toxic Friends
We keep reminding parents to see who their kids are friends with. Better if you could get along with them and their parents. If your daughter is not transparent enough about her friends, beware. Kids within your daughter’s age are curious to try new things. With proper monitoring in a trusting environment, you know your daughter’s learning development and how she makes decisions.
People tend to choose friends who are like them. If your daughter’s friends are toxic, the possibility of your daughter becoming ill-mannered increases. Your daughter will likely get into trouble and make bad decisions, such as drinking irresponsibly, breaking school regulations, and other harmful activities.
10. Lacks Empathy and Never Feel Pity
One of the signs that you have a toxic daughter can be seen in how she treats you. Has she ever considered your feelings? For instance, when you’re sad or get hurt, your daughter shows no interest. She doesn’t care about what you feel, let alone other people.
We once heard a story about a woman who was going to a work interview. Before she stepped into the office building, she stopped to help an older woman fall. Turned out the old woman was her prospective new boss. Empathy is one of essential social behaviors. If your daughter doesn’t master it, she will have difficulties assessing and understanding a situation.
11. She is Aggressive and Ready to Explode
Another obvious sign that you have a toxic daughter is her destructive behavior. We don’t tell you to teach your daughter to be always calm and sit still for hours. Rebellious and aggressive behavior is considered normal under certain levels and circumstances. For example, when your daughter moves to a new school, expects a new sibling, or during a conflict.
However, beware if her aggressiveness persists and turns into destructive behavior, like releasing her anger by destroying things or making a scene in public. Your daughter lashes out because she can’t self-regulate her feelings and emotions. Decrease this toxic behavior by showing empathy when she is angry, sad, or even happy. This approach tells her that even in the most complicated situation, she is accepted and taken care of.
12. Contempt, Not Content
Being contemptuous is one of the most annoying signs that you have a toxic daughter because it is a perfect combination of disapproval and hatred. When your daughter constantly disrespects and despises you, chances are, she is contemptuous.
Being contemptuous will lead your daughter nowhere. The satisfaction she gains when doing or saying things out of disrespectfulness is fleeting and filled with self-anger. Thus, do not take her harsh words to heart. Instead, look at her with compassion and kindness—two things contemptuous people lack.
13. She is Overly Dominating
First things first, do not mistake confidence for dominance. Confidence is the force that comes from within, while dominance is the power that you project outward. Confidence is empowering, yet being overly dominant is one of the signs that you have a toxic daughter.
Even though a dominant person can be seen as outgoing, active, and decisive, this trait comes at a cost. Your highly dominant daughter may threaten you to get what she wants. This behavior can escalate into bossiness, where the person always wants to take charge in every situation and disrespects you.
14. The Greedy One, Who Wants it All
You may not see this as one of the signs that you have a toxic daughter. Because we know you want to spoil her and provide anything she needs. Thus, her strong desire to acquire and demand more can seem too subtle to you.
Greediness is toxic because it indicates dissatisfaction with what you have. When you are hard to satisfy, you will likely lack empathy. From now on, be careful about how much you can provide her besides her essential needs since she should know what is enough and when to stop. Furthermore, remember to give consequences such as limiting the rewards for her.
15. Arrogant Rather Than Confident
Arrogance is one of the signs that you have a toxic daughter, even though it’s quite hard to detect. Sometimes you may mistake arrogance for confidence. It is understandable because confidence and arrogance are about self-esteem.
When your daughter is confident, she knows her self-worth and doesn’t have the intention to drag others down. But when she is arrogant, she considers herself superior to others and showcases a cocky attitude. Instead of being confident, arrogance indicates low self-esteem which can lead to depression.
16. Make Her Tell the Truth
What do you feel when you find out your daughter is lying to you? How do you raise a liar? You may feel betrayed and ask yourself what makes your daughter isn’t comfortable telling you the truth. Reasons that can back this behavior are craving for attention, getting liked by her peers, and the list goes on.
What she should know is, lying isn’t the solution to every problem. And what you should learn is to identify how bad the lying is and the cause behind her lying to you. Practice open communication and always listen to your daughter without judgment. Stop forcing her to always tell you every detail of what she’s been through.
Have you ever encountered a toxic person? The one who drains your energy and makes you question yourself. In fact, you should’ve spent more time with people who empower you and encourage you to be better. It’s hard to admit, but in reality, your daughter might be one of those toxic people others need to cross off the list.
If you can find some of the signs listed above that you have a toxic daughter, you should evaluate yourself and your daughter’s closest circle. The next thing you should do is take the necessary action as soon as possible. Most toxic children were born from immature and demanding parents. However, there’s also a chance that your children are influenced by their environment.
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FAO (Frequently Asked Questions)
How do you deal with a toxic daughter?
By understanding her needs. Instead of pointing fingers, we can start by reflecting on and evaluating ourselves as parents. Because, who knows, her toxic personality results from her unmet needs. Have we created a loving and harmonious environment at home for her? Do you support her goals? Do you know her daily activities and her favorite pastime?
What is a toxic daughter relationship?
This refers to a relationship with your daughter that is full of negativity. The connection is fragile and lacks warmth. You and your daughter may present the toxicity in various ways and treatments. For a more detailed explanation, we’ve compiled a list of signs that you have a toxic daughter.
What is a toxic child?
A child whose traits and behavior are negative and challenging. A toxic child will turn home into a battlefield. We have listed the possible characteristics of a toxic child above. However, bear in mind that these characters will be considered normal to appear occasionally during some changes, such as moving to a new school or during family crises.
Why are daughters mean to their mothers?
Because they develop a wounded inner child. When daughters turn against their mothers, they most likely can’t stand their mother’s treatment. Their wickedness is just a façade to protect themselves from getting hurt. However, this doesn’t mean that your daughter isn’t toxic herself. Our point is to remind you to constantly reflect on your behavior.
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