17 Reasons Why Your Teenage Daughter is Being Mean to You

Why is my daughter so mean to me? Have you ever been wondering about the question? Most parents have problems with their beloved grown daughters. They realize their daughters have become argumentative, disrespectful, defiant, and rebellious. Perhaps, your daughter is still your baby. But she is growing up and is able to make her own decision. However, she often behaves so mean to you. 

Just ask yourself, why is my daughter so mean to me? Of course, the question makes you upset since you have raised her and owns a strong bond with your beloved daughter. If you noticed it, let’s identify why she is so rebellious and defiant. We have put together 17 reasons why the teenage daughter is being mean to her parents.

1. She has no respect as you don’t care enough

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Why is my daughter so mean to me? She does not respect you as parents. Of course, It is hard to say. Your grown daughter lacks respect for some different factors. Perhaps, she thinks that you do not care or are cool enough. She may be discovering something your daughter doesn’t love it. Whatever the factors happen, she has been mean to you and no longer obeys your direction.

Remember! All human beings, including your teenage daughter, love having gratitude. Make sure to deliver appreciation to your beloved daughter. If you find she has lost her respect and she has not listened to you, it belongs to a sign that your grown daughter is disrespectful to you.

Just handle your daughter when she begins showing the defiant act. Give her special little gifts to calm her anger. It shows that you care for her needs.  Most girls love to be surprised with a lovely present.  

2. She is unaware because of overwhelmed by redundant problems 

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Perhaps, your beloved daughter is unaware that she is hurting you. She is in a period of development. She is just growing bigger and entering a higher step in her life. She may be overwhelmed with teenage problems such as her studies, relationships, peer pressure, dating, alcohol, sex, etc. On the other hand, she must manage many things but cannot solve them.

When your teenager has been inundated with too many things, she might express her anxiety and stress. Her overwhelmed condition may lead to the wrong ways, like saying rude, behaving rebelliously, and ignoring your direction and others. 

Check out her daily activities to discover the root causes of why she acts defiant. Invite her to have a deep talk. Your presence is so vital to minimalize her burden. Just sit down and listen to her problems. You can advise her gently to change her poor unintentional behavior. 

3. She is frustrated with someone else and takes it out on you

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

The teenage period is full of complicated things. Your daughter may get frustrated with her teacher, parent, boyfriend, friend, and someone else. But, she feels inundated and can’t handle her circumstance well. She may take the problems out on you. If you find she behaves rebelliously toward you, establish communication with her. Try to dig into the problems going on in her life. 

You can be the right person to vent. Thus, she is free to express negative emotions that trouble her life. No need to be a professional psychologist to solve her unfair condition.  Just be a good listener. Let her blow off steam.  It will curb her defiant acts and ignorance of you. 

4. She needs more time and love as you are too busy. 

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Most teenagers feel they lack love and time when their parents are busy with their work or activities. If you find your grown teenagers mean to you, she may have a similar condition. She feels lonely as you have little love and time. The teenage period is a critical time to fight for her space and independence. 

See also  20 of the Best Things for a 16th Birthday in Atlanta

Be honest! When was the last time you gave your daughter the attention, respect, and love she needed? If you are deficient in her needs, just take action to bring and fulfill her emotional needs. After busy workdays, make quality time with your beloved daughters. Get ready to listen to her story, daily activity, and others. 

You can also plan a visit to recreational destinations to build family bonding. Most teenage daughters need the right person to share and express their emotional needs. 

5. She is copying her idols or friends

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Your grown daughter may grow up and start considering her social status. She is interested in how her idols and friends act and begins copying them. Unfortunately, she mimics destructive emotions like mocking others, being rebellious, ignorant in your direction, and more. 

She starts to think that drinking wine is excellent or that smoking tastes good. Whatever she thinks about, she begins rebelling and ignoring you. The mechanisms are used as a tool for rebellion.  If you have seen that your daughter has changed from a sweet to defiant girl, it could mean that she is mimicking other people that she is associating with.

Call her to have dinner and let her enjoy the quality time while advising her to be herself. You can ensure her that being herself will promote confidence and beauty.  

6. She is gaining her freedom as you control her too much

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Your teen is in a critical period where they have reached a vital point in her life. She starts gaining her freedom and space because she grows up as an adult.  She wants to make her own choice independently and try eliminating your roles in her life. This period is a demanding phase that your daughter wants to live independently. Meanwhile, you still have to control and guide her too much. 

Let’s be wise parents. You should realize that her mental and physical are developing. You allow her to gain her independence under your supervision. Call her to look for herself with consistent and responsible behaviors. Change your way of how to build a dynamic relationship with her.

7. She is jealous since you often compare her to others

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

When you notice her disrespectful act, your teen may get jealous. It is natural for a teenage daughter who is still growing and young. She will behave the wrong way if she is compared to someone else. Feeling jealous is common for women. The feeling becomes toxic as she can’t manage and control the emotion. 

If she feels jealous, she will behave poorly by saying, “I am cuter than you”; or “I’m smarter than you, so stop getting me in trouble.”  How to deal with a jealous daughter? Try to give her affection, love, and attention. Show your daughter that you are so concerned about her.  She may want more emotional needs to step into her teenage world. 

8. You’re too strict, so it builds her anger up

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

The strict parent brings fear of angering you. She may not show her feeling, but she has not trusted you for anything. The anxiety makes her an unpredictable liar. She tries to cover herself from you. Of course, this condition leads to the exceptional liar. You may think that you know her well. But, she hides a large part of her personality.

Your grown daughter does rebellious acts as a struggle against your strict rules. She makes an excuse to behave liar. Consequently, she never trusts adults, including her parents. To curb her anger, try to change how you treat your teenager. Come and listen to her groaning. Give her more space to express her emotions and activities under your supervision. 

9. You give her many responsibilities she can’t manage

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

As she was so helpful, you gave her many responsibilities, including taking care of her siblings and doing housekeeping than anyone else. You thought she enjoyed the duties. You never took care of her condition. You might notice that she got straight, listened to all your advice, and never complained. You think that everything is going to be okay.

However, It is so “mature” to have many pressure and responsibilities. Of course, it also has an impact on growth. Your teenage daughter could not enjoy and fully experience her childhood as anyone else at her age. Your daughter was also low-maintenance since you thought she could do anything alone. The circumstances lead to anger, rebellion, and ignorance on you. She felt enslaved as fulfilling your expectation.

See also  What To Do With A Teenager In Seattle

The solution is to treat her normally as she is a grown teen. Don’t make her redundant by unsuitable responsibilities. Let her create happiness at her age, like other gifted teens. 

10. She argues over as feeling disconnected from you

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Have you often argued much with your teenage daughter, even for unimportant things? It belongs to a sign of why she is mean to you. No one said that the parent is always more suitable than the daughter. But, if you notice she constantly argues over little things, she feels disconnected from you. 



Try to think back about the issues you have recently disagreed with her. When she is being argumentative about nonissues, she is challenged to talk. Actually, different opinions and perspectives are natural in the family relationship. However, it does not mean that she argues over every little thing.

The best way to deal with an argumentative teen is to spend time with your teen, stop being right, and solve her problem. 



11. You interfere her privacy so she turns into introvert

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Your daughter may always share every piece of information and experience with you. She is open to talking about her relationship, school, study, and others. She has no secret from her parent. Nevertheless, growing up, she starts to have her own privacy. Your teenager may not share a specific and detailed story with you. She keeps a secret from you.  

At the same time, she turns into an introvert. You are not allowed to enter the room, see her smartphone without permission, and more. She doesn’t want that you act like a spy and invade her privacy too much. Those things can lead to rebellion and ignorance with you. 

Treat your teenage daughter like you deal with growing kids into adults. Let her keep her privacy. But, you should be there if she needs you. She will reveal her secret when she feels comfortable with you.  

12. She feels worthless because you still rule her

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Why is my daughter so mean to me? She may feel powerless and worthless. She has been growing up and trying to find her own life. However, you are still controlling her in managing her life. She realized she could not express her emotions freely with your rules, high expectations, and boundaries. 

She shows her resistance by behaving defiantly and rebelliously. It happens since she wants her parent to know that she also has the power and capability to decide her life. If you treat her like a child, she tries to get power by arguing over a little thing, ignoring your direction, breaching the rules, and others.

To overcome the feeling of being worthless, let her increase her self-confidence and stop ruling her life too much. You can escort her to demonstrate positive vibes and encourage decision-making processes. 

13. She isn’t involved in decision-making process

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Your teenage daughter is growing up both physically and mentally. It means she realizes that she deserves to make a decision. Look back! Have you ever involved her in the decision-making process? If you haven’t, it ignites her bad behavior. 

She thought that she was able to choose the better option. But, you do not appreciate how she tries to express her ideas. You can communicate with her about certain decisions in the family discussion. Invite your teen to give her opinions on the decision-making process.

Please ask her to deliver her opinion.  You can appreciate her by following up on her opinion as a result of a family discussion. Of course, it will make her valued and restrain her defiant act. 

14. She doesn’t want your presence as you were bad parents

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Have your teenage daughter ignored your message or calls? Do you realize that she always cancels family plans? Is she extremely angry when you enter her room without knocking? If all those things happen, your teenager is mean to you. She refuses to meet with you for anything. 

She realized that she was able to choose the best part of her life. Whatever she chooses, she does not want to spend time with you. When encountering you, she tries to stay away from you. There is no greeting or communication. She also keeps silent when you ask a question about something. She chooses to hang out with her peers than stay at home with her parents.

It is hard to say. But, you should be consistent in fixing the relationship. Give your daughter more empathy, and stop taking offense to her. all you need is to focus on building family bonding, so she feel comfortable with your presence. 

15. She was mad at someone else but afraid to take it out. 

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

One common problem faced by the most full-grown girls is the issue with the friend. If you find your teenage daughter is mean to you, she probably has a problem with someone else. Then, her anger took it out on you. It happens as she doesn’t know how to express her madness appropriately. 

See also  Did I Say that?!' - How To Apologize To Your Teenager When You've Said Something Hurtful

For example, she was mad at her friend for some problem. But, she was afraid to take it out on her friend. At home, she expresses her emotions by saying rude and behaving poorly toward her parents.

When you find your teenager did it, let her relax and try to make non-threatening talk. You can guide and teach her to express her anger properly. Encourage her to defend herself and be brave when facing problems with someone else. 

16. She has kept her anger from the past unresolved. 

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

If your teenage daughter is disrespectful, look back on past issues. Have you ever had problems that have gone unchecked with her? She probably acts in poor behavior because the issues have been unresolved. Therefore, she will act it out to release her anger from the past. 

She has built up her rebellion as you couldn’t handle the arguments or disagreement in a healthy way. You thought that she had forgotten it. Your teenager has stored the issue away. When you realize that you have unresolved issues with her, start to deal with the problem. Let your daughter feels good when growing up without any anger from the past.  

Be honest with yourself. You may need to check whether there have been problems that have gone unresolved or not. If the answer is yes, take action immediately to curb the anger. Ask for forgiveness since you haven’t been capable of overcoming the past problem. Let your daughter deliver her disappointment. Try not to take offense. 

17. You never appreciate her, so she keeps anger

Why is my daughter so mean to me?

Your teen loves having appreciation. She hates to be ignored, or her ideas are not valued. She is growing up and is able to make the best decision for her life. Perhaps, your daughter has achieved the highest score in her examination. You didn’t value her achievement. 

Of course, it would make her angry. She realized that she had studied hard, but no one cared about it. If you noticed that she was proud of her effort, don’t hesitate to give her appreciation. 

You should provide your truly unconditional love by surprising her with some gifts. Try to appreciate her efforts and performance. Your attention and affection are so valuable to her. It can also make her feel good during her growth period.  


Latest Posts:


What do you do when your teenage daughter is mean to you?

I will fix it immediately by starting non-threatening talk. Planning a visit to your daughter’s favorite destination is a great option to curb her defiant or rebellious acts. Of course, I also give presence, affection, and attention. 

How do you deal with a nasty teenage daughter?

Start to create limits or boundaries for your teenage daughter. Then build as intimate communication as possible between parents and teenagers. You should also focus on the positive side when delivering advice and the healthy risks of her rebellious acts. 

Why are daughters so mean to their mothers?

She feels frustrated since you do not have much time and love for her. She needs your presence to share her story and experience and solve her problem.  Perhaps, she behaves rude and poorly to attract your affection. 

Why my teenage daughter is always angry?

She is in her critical development period when she tries hard to find herself by mimicking others, taking poor behavior, and gaining her freedom and space to step into teenage life.  

Latest posts by Rivan Tungadi (see all)

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.