How Do I Deal With My Teenage Daughter's Attitude?

It is not uncommon to hear stories about parents who are frustrated with their teen’s attitudes.

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How Do I Deal With My Teenage Daughter’s Attitude?

Their behavior may be irresponsible, and their attitude is just ‘I don’t care’, and it frustrates us.

Some kids may have a dreaming mentality where they believe that things will just land in their laps, however, note that any idea they get like this, any mentality does not come out of nowhere.

It is important to recognize that what they have learned as a child will impact them as they grow.

Some teens will have an attitude because they feel entitled, others may have an attitude because of other things in their lives; desperation to fit in, social issues, tiredness, stress, and so on.

The main thing you must do if your teen is displaying an attitude is to be understanding and try to find the source of this attitude.

Then, remember that you can never make someone do something, even your kid, they have to learn to make mistakes and bounce back from them.

Attitude Never Comes Out Of Nowhere!

If your teen has the mentality that they don’t need a job, or good grades and that they will just get what they want, consider that you or other caregivers in their past may actually be at fault for this.

Yes, this sucks, but if you mollycoddle the child and give them rewards without doing anything to warrant it, this mentality can carry forward into their adolescent years and even into adult life where they feel that the world owes them something.

We know this is not how the world works, but they don’t, remember, we can only make judgements on what we have experienced ourselves.

However, attitude can also come from other things. Maybe your kid does not want to go to school and is snappy.

You know they need to go to school, but do you know if everything is okay at school? Are they struggling? Being bullied? Hurt?

Remember, attitude does not come out of thin air, it will come from their own experiences and what they have been taught as well as the environment they are in.

Remember You Can’t Make Your Kid Have A Better Attitude

You will likely be in a power struggle with your child, you have probably lectured them about hard work, attitude and being responsible god knows how many times. You hope they will listen, but they don’t.

The truth is, you cannot fix them, you can’t make them do anything. It is impossible to force something onto someone, and in fact, forcing it can often make the situation worse.

You cannot force your world view onto your child, they can only view the world the way they have experienced it.

You will never see the world the way your parents did, and your child will never see the world the way you do.

You must also remember that your teen will be dismissive or apathetic to anything other than what interests them, in many ways this is just natural for humans.

If you have no interest in LEGO, will you sit and listen to someone talk about it for ages?

No one can force interest upon anyone, if they aren’t interested, they simply won’t be. So, to try and force it will just frustrate you.

Remember: Your child is not a mini you, they are their own person with unique passions, interests, feelings, and experiences.

Focus On Behavior, Not Attitude

If they are being really crude, rude, or irresponsible, do not focus on their attitude but their behavior instead.

Consider that a person can have a bad attitude towards something but still maintain good behavior.

Ignore their apathy and self-importance of your teen and inform them of what they should be doing.

You Can’t Force Someone To Want Something

Remember you can never force a person to want something either. You cannot make your child want good grades or a job.

Remember, however, do not mollycoddle or spoil your child.

There is a difference between being a kind and loving parent and spoiling your child.

If you give them everything they want when they ask for it, they will not think that they need money, a job, or good grades to get these things, they will simply think they will be given to them.

It is important from a young age to teach your children that you have to work to get the things you want.

Give them pocket money for doing chores, or inspire them to get a little side job, paper route or something, so they can learn the value of work and money themselves.

To Conclude: They Are Their Own Person, And They Are Learning

It’s not what you want to hear but often attitude and behavior in teen years are down to us, parents.

We have to remember that we cannot force anything on another person, even our own kids.

Spoiling and mollycoddling your child will only make them less independent and more ‘bratty’, it is important to teach your child how things work through providing them the opportunities to have their own experiences.

Simply telling them how things are won’t work. Most kids will learn through experience, so give them these chances for these experiences, and you will see all-round improvements.

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Suzy Prichard

Hi, my name is Suzy Prichard and I have been a high school councilor for over 12 years now. I am also a parent to three marvelous children - who have all been through their rocky teenage years and come out of the other side.

Over the years, I have seen my fair share of teenage issues. I have also seen plenty of worried parents at a loss of what to do with their children.

My aim with Talking Teenage is to put a stop to this and help you to communicate with your teenagers better. This will leave you with a better relationship and help you to keep such a close bond.

Please take the time to read my website and learn anything you can - we were all teenagers once!