Teenagers have to go through growth quickly. Not only physically, but also emotionally. These changes happen too fast and they need to adapt to every little change. Meanwhile, their emotional system is still underdeveloped and sometimes things get hard for them. This is very normal as we all have been through this phase at some point of our lives.
It will pass and if the phase goes smoothly, they will be more calm eventually. However, they need our full support as parents to go through this phase so they will be able to grow in a healthy way and become mature. Because mismanagement during teenage years may result in adults who failed to mature and still carry these unstable traits with them.
To support them, we need to understand the reasons as to why your daughter may be too emotional, moody, and have extreme ups and downs. From biological reasons to social pressure, the following is a list of the common reasons that may happen to your daughter that make you ask why is my daughter so emotional.
1. Hyperactive Amygdala
The first reason that may also be the main cause of your daughter’s strong emotions is purely biological. Teenagers are going through a neurobiological development that is necessary for their growth and prepare them to become an independent adult. This development affected their brain and messed with their dopaminergic systems making them more vulnerable and sensitive to environmental stress exposure.
As parents, we can support them by educating them about teenager’s development so they can have a better understanding and react to their emotions accordingly.
2. Hormonal Imbalance
As mentioned above, teenage development affected them biologically and that includes their hormone system too. Due to various factors, hormonal imbalance may occur in teenage girls and it causes multiple outcomes including mood swings and anxiety. Sudden changes such as body development, acne, periods, and other stuff around it may cause stress to your daughter and that is probably what makes her more sensitive.
This process is very normal and parents need to understand. However, if your daughter shows some heavier symptoms of hormonal imbalance, you may need to take her to consult a doctor.
3. Premenstrual Syndrome
Period is a natural thing that happens to all females and it does affect our overall hormonal system. Even adults still experience mood swings and sensitive emotions when on their PMS period. The movie Red provides a good overview of this problem where the first period can be a hard thing to deal with. They may see it as something gross and anxious about the next development.
To help your daughter cope with this, you can try to share your own experience and admit that as an adult, you too still have emotional problems sometimes. This way, your daughter will have the support she needs and won’t feel so lonely anymore.
4. Press Their Feelings
Sometimes, teenagers have strong emotions because they try to press their feelings as hard as they can. As little children, they are able to just cry when things don’t go according to their plan. But as they grow, crying like a little child can be seen as embarrassing. This is why they press their feelings instead of expressing it and it may lead to mood swings and make them look too emotional.
5. Life is Chaotic for Teens
After we went through years of life, we know that some things are not that serious. However, for teens, a lot of things are new to them and they may see everything as a serious matter. This may lead them to feel that the world is full of challenges and maybe they also feel like the whole world is against them. From everyday life tasks to their peer’s opinions, all of those things are important for teens and more often than not, they may overthink everything.
We need to help them by giving them a different point of view while also validating their feelings. Let them know that they will eventually learn that not everything deserves our time and energy to stress over.
6. Social Pressure
This is a real case and maybe one of the hardest to handle. Even adults still feel some kind of pressure from society. And for teens, this challenge can feel a lot harder. On the other hand, they want to live up to the social expectation because they also have the need to feel belonged to the society. On the other hand, the social expectation does not always align with their true desire.
This may make them feel stressed and unhappy. You can give them the understanding that we don’t always have to live up to what the society wants us to be. Being honest and being our true self is the best thing we can do.
7. They Have a Hard Time to Fit In
Still aligned with the previous point, teenagers have a huge urge to fit in, to feel accepted, and be a part of the world beyond their family. The family may love and accept her for who she is, but the outside world doesn’t always have the same perspective. Especially for kids with unique traits, special needs, and general differences.
Feelings like they don’t fit in makes them feel lonely and sometimes makes them hate themselves. Here is when parents can ensure that they don’t have to fit in and just be themselves. It may take time and you need to give them a constant reminder that they are cool on their own.
8. They Feel Like They Need to Prove Their Worth
Whether it is good grades at school, achievements, talents, or simply having the best outfit, teenagers have so many standards they feel like they need to achieve. Even though no one has asked them to, they can still feel like it is mandatory. They have to perform well, have to achieve something so their parents will be proud and their friends will respect them.
On a healthy portion, it is a good thing to have some kind of ambition because it can give them a motivation to grow and be better. But when overdone, it may lead to unnecessary stress. You can tell them that their effort is enough. It is okay not to achieve perfection and progress is what actually matters.
9. Low Self Esteem
There are some reasons that make teenagers have low self esteem including unsupportive carers and bad influences. Especially with the social media era when things seem a lot better online than in real life. Your daughter can easily compare themselves to some Instagram model and question why they don’t look as good as them. Parents have a huge role in developing good self esteem in teenagers. You can tell them that they are beautiful and not everything they see on the media is real.
10. The Need of Validation
Lack of validations especially from the closest people may lead to low self esteem as mentioned on the previous point. It may also lead teenagers to feel lonely and no one cares about them. It can make them think that they are not good enough and makes their emotions so fragile and vulnerable. The best thing parents can do is to give them the validation they need. Acknowledge their feelings and validate it. Listen to what they have to say to make them feel heard.
11. Childhood Trauma
Emotional problems can also be caused by unresolved childhood trauma. As a child’s brain develops, some memories, especially the traumatic ones, can be imprinted on the subconscious. It will take a long process to resolve this problem but you may need to bring your kids to therapy and talk to professionals regarding this situation so the problem can be solved as fast as possible.
12. Clueless about Life
Having no direction in life does make us feel helpless. This is a problem that actually comes and goes through our lifetime. However, for teenagers, it can be really hard because they think that other people know what to do. They think they are the only one that is confused and it can be stressful for them.
You can help them by letting them know that we don’t always have to know everything. It is okay to not know something and that is totally normal. Let them know that along with time, they will have a better vision of life and the future.
13. Having Problems with Their Friends
Another common reason that makes you wonder why is my daughter so emotional is probably because they have a fight or some kind of problem with their friends. To know the exact situation, you can talk to them and let them share their problems with you. The first thing you need to do is listen carefully. Don’t forget to validate their feelings but you need to remind them to do the necessary things such as apologize if it was their mistake.
14. Bullying
Bullied kids tend to be more sensitive, closed off, and may have anger issues. The National Center for Educational Statistics reported that one out of every five (20.2%) students report being bullied. This rate is very high and it can happen to anyone including our kids. The worst case of bullying is that it affects the victim emotionally. Reports say alcohol and drug abuse have been associated with being bullied as a child.
This is why when you find that your daughter is easily irritated and seems unstable emotionally, you need to talk to them asap. Early detection of bullying will give you the time to act accordingly and take the necessary step to help your daughter.
15. Family Situation
To answer the question why is my daughter so emotional, sometimes, we need to look at the internal factors as well. Is your family in a healthy situation, or are there some things that may affect your kids emotionally? For example, parents who are going through a divorce may find it hard to keep the family harmony and it can affect the kids mentally. Talk to your kids and ask them if there is anything in the house that makes them feel uncomfortable.
16. High Empathy
Everyone was born different and some people were just born with higher empathy than others. Your daughter can be one of those kids. They just have higher empathy that makes it hard for them to just ignore others. They feel their pain deeply and it can affect their mood. They may also be angry for the injustice they see in society.This can answer your question why is my daughter so emotional. You can help them by always being there for them. Empathy cannot just be shut off. You may need professional help to deal with it so your daughter can control their empathy better.
17. Anxiety and Depression
Among other things, it is also possible that your daughter struggles with clinical anxiety and depression. To get to know this, of course they have to go through psychological assessment. You can talk to a professional to get early screenings and take the following steps to help your daughter before the condition gets worse. Make sure to let your daughter know that it is okay and you love them.
18. Negative Body Image
Negative body image has been linked to low self esteem which can lead to mood swings and in worse cases may lead to other problems as well including eating disorders. Media consumption and peer pressure may cause them to feel not good enough, not beautiful enough, and it is very unhealthy for their mental state. You can teach your daughter the concept of self love and acceptance as a way to help them love themselves. More importantly, you need to show them that you love them and are proud of them.
19. Difficulty in Prioritizing and Managing Their Time
Teenagers are busy. They have a lot of things to do from school tasks to other different activities. Some kids even take some part time jobs to gain experience. All of these things can get worse at times such as during the final exam or preparing for college. All of those responsibilities may make them feel stressed. You can help them manage their time by prioritizing the tasks they need to get done first and let them know that they have your full support.
20. Unhealthy Social Media Consumption
Social media has become a huge part of teenagers’ lives. However, if not monitored, it can do more harm than benefit to teenager’s mental health. Excessive use of social media may disrupt their sleep, distract them from things they need to focus on, and expose them to negative influence. A 2019 study in the U.S. found that teenagers who spent more than three hours a day using social media might be at heightened risk for mental health problems. As parents, it is our job to protect our kids from negative social impact whether it is offline or online. We need to know what kind of content they are consuming, but remember to also respect their privacy.
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How do I Deal with my Emotional Daughter?
First of all, you need to be a good listener. Listen to what your daughter has to say and be a good friend to them. When they tell you about their problems and feelings, make sure that you validate them and show them you care. This way, they will trust you and can express their feelings better.
What Makes a Child Emotionally Sensitive?
There are a lot of factors that make a child emotionally sensitive. One of them is lack of validation and attention. Make sure that you give the attention they need especially at their younger age. Lack of validation is crucial in a kid’s development and it affects their self esteem as well.
Why does My Daughter Cry about Everything?
As we discussed earlier, there are numerous factors that make your daughter cry about everything. Other than being a natural born empath, it can also be caused by hormones and other circumstances. But you need to know that sometimes, crying is a way to express feelings, so if you find your daughter is easily irritated and cries about everything instead of talking about it calmly you may need to reexamine your communication style.
How Do You Know if Your Child is Struggling Emotionally?
For some kids, ikt can be obvious because they show what they feel. However, kids also mask their emotions so well that parents don’t even notice subtle changes. You can overcome this problem by having a routine heart to heart conversation so they get used to expressing feelings. You can also pay more attention to their habits such as their sleeping schedule, grades, and appetite.
Over the years, I have seen my fair share of teenage issues. I have also seen plenty of worried parents at a loss of what to do with their children.
My aim with Talking Teenage is to put a stop to this and help you to communicate with your teenagers better. This will leave you with a better relationship and help you to keep such a close bond.
Please take the time to read my website and learn anything you can - we were all teenagers once!
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