At times, it may feel that there is a continuous power struggle between you, as the parent, and your teenager. For a teenager, the period is difficult by having to juggle working out who they are and the pressure of how they fit in.
Hormonal changes during adolescence can provoke some wild, out-of-control behavior yet you should do something about it if it gets out of hand. Emotions for both the parent and teenager are expected to be high yet the behavior can change.
While it may feel overwhelming sometimes, knowing what to do when your teenager is out of control can help.
How To Recognize That Your Teenage Is Out Of Control
Certain behavioral traits can help you recognize that your teenager is meeting the profile of out of control. If there are frequent violent outbursts aimed at family members and continual threats being made then these are just two signs.
Other actions may be harder to spot such as a teenager beginning to experiment with illicit substances such as alcohol and/or drugs. If you suspect that they are under the influence, either being drunk or high, then your teenager may be out of control.
Their out-of-control behavior may cause them to get into trouble with wider society. Certainly, stealing from others or a store can fall into that category. Simply getting into legal trouble is also a surefire sign that your teenager is out of control.
An absence from the home or school can be a trait that indicates an out-of-control teenager, especially if they are repeatedly running away.
How To Gain Back Control
Once you have recognized that your teenager is demonstrating out-of-control behavior you will want to stop it and gain back control. Do this sooner rather than later to prevent it from escalating and address each situation immediately.
However, how you address these situations also has a telling effect on whether you can gain back control and what your teenager’s reaction is likely to be.
For instance, if your teenager fails to acknowledge your response and does nothing then chances are that their behavior will continue to be out of control. An angry reaction and an outburst will typically signal an angry response.
The underlying aim of gaining back control is to return a sense of peace back to your household within the family to relieve any tensions your teenager may have raised.
Lay Down Some Household Rules
Be clear in your expectations when addressing your teenager and, effectively, lay down the law. If you need to set some household rules for your teenager then do so.
If these rules and standards are not met then there should be consequences, especially if they are warned of them well in advance. Clear expectations and set rules limit any space for a counter-argument and establishes boundaries.
Use Calm And Clear Communication
Have a conversation with your teenager where you address their out-of-control behavior. Such a calm manner of addressing your teenager and their troubles may help them get some concerns off their chest just like a therapist would.
Ask clear questions to find out why they are acting the way they are, yet show concern and compassion too. Do not make any assumptions but try to probe where the struggles lie, whether they are with family, friends, or elsewhere.
Be Persistent
Gaining back control may take time so keep at it and concentrate on following through, do not show any leniency in how you discipline your out-of-control teenager if they continue their behavior.
Persistence and consistency are key to keeping those consequences in place and avoiding any manipulation or wiggle room from your teenager. As long as your teenager can tell that you mean business then their behavior should change.
Should your teenager realize that you mean business and you are serious about upholding the household rules you have set then you should gain back control. That may take time yet stay strong, you cannot allow any bending of those rules.
You may even be tempted to rescue your out-of-control teenager from certain situations yet that would also demonstrate leniency.
Allowing your teenager to learn from the repercussions of their out-of-control actions should help them grow and let them improve on their terms.
Final Thoughts
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Frequently Asked Questions
What If My Out-Of-Control Teenager Does Not Care About Consequences?
If the household rules you have set are clear and restrictive enough then your out-of-control teenager should care about the consequences.
However, it may be the case that you have not been clear about the rules or your expectations so lay them out plain and simple. Remind your teenager what their behavior should look like and what their responsibilities are.
If the punishment is tied to the offense and the bad behavior then it should change. Should your teenager’s behavior change then you should find yourself praising those correct actions which is a big step forward.
Should I Take The Phone Away From My Out-Of-Control Teenager?
Make sure that the consequences for their out-of-control behavior are matched by the punishment.
While your teenager may certainly feel aggrieved that their phone and means of communication has been taken away this may not be the best course of action.
For instance, if you need to get in touch with them then this will prove difficult if they do not have their phone.
Over the years, I have seen my fair share of teenage issues. I have also seen plenty of worried parents at a loss of what to do with their children.
My aim with Talking Teenage is to put a stop to this and help you to communicate with your teenagers better. This will leave you with a better relationship and help you to keep such a close bond.
Please take the time to read my website and learn anything you can - we were all teenagers once!
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