Anger is an emotional signal that usually mobilizes response to danger. Not only that, but anger is also a form of self-expression and is sometimes a way used by children to express independence. Their anger can be triggered by many things and often ends up being aggressive behavior. Perhaps, you have a critical question, “why is my son so emotional?”
When your son’s outburst is over, it means that he is really sensitive. It would help if you discovered the triggers before it was too late. We have summarized 18 factors that cause kids’ emotional reactions. All of the factors can answer the question, “why is my son so emotional?”
1. Unaccepted feelings
Why is my son so emotional? He may feel unaccepted. Since he is still a kid, you never involve his role in the family-decision processes. He thinks that you always reject her opinion or idea. He also realizes that her friends don’t accept his presence in the circle. If you let the condition go on, it will kill his motivation. He feels worthless.
To make an excuse, he acts out emotionally. This condition is actually normal if it happens once. But, he takes it out frequently; you should fix the feeling. How to deal with the circumstance? Call him to express his ideas about the family decision. You can accept all of his thoughts, groan, and ask gently. Just name his feelings to curb his severe temper.
2. Fear of Loneliness
Your son always needs you around him. He fears loneliness, especially when you are out of the house to work. Most parents have hectic work days, so they neglect their children. Of course, he is so emotional when meeting with you. He vents his abandoned and lonely feeling by acting out. Moreover, if you don’t greet him after work, it will lead to extreme outbursts.
How to deal with a lonely son acting out emotionally? After going back to your home, try to give him more quality time instead of your work time. Make your beloved son a priority. You can invite him to play around, watch the latest family movies, or do a simple project. Besides compensating for his time, it can also effectively level up family bonding.
3. Jealousy with siblings
Jealousy with siblings can come in some forms; one is emotional behavior. When your beloved son acts out, check to see whether he is jealous of his siblings or not. If you make him unhappy or angry with the siblings, you should deal with the feelings. His feeling may be caused by the fact that you often compare him to others. The first-born baby can also make him feel emotional. He realizes that your affection will be shared with the newborn.
To lessen sibling rivalry, you should avoid comparison. Stop comparing your lovely son to others. Even you avoid comparing him to his previous abilities. For example, he got an A-score in the previous examination. Please don’t show your upset, as he couldn’t fulfill the expectation.
4. Getting frustrated about school
Getting frustrated is a sign that your son is so emotional. He may be struggling in school, whether with difficult tasks, one-sided friendships, or others, but he can’t handle it well. So, he takes his frustration out on you. The frustration can lead to anger and less motivation if the feeling goes on for a long time.
To express his frustration, your son may express his anger through fighting, throwing things, swearing, verbal outbursts, and tantrums. Your son acts like this because he doesn’t know how to vent his frustration.
How to deal with your son’s frustration? It would be best if you discovered the triggers for his frustration. The most common triggers are unexpected situations, feeling misunderstood, transition, and more. After that, validate his feelings. It has an impact on managing his emotions.
5. Toxicity from the gaming community
Your son may be into online-based games, like Fortnite, Mobile Legends, and more. When he plays the games, he creates online communities, which are commonly toxic. Of course, he gains lots of toxicity from others when playing the game for so long. Without his noticing it, the toxic of the gaming influence his daily habits. He brings it into his real life.
He doesn’t doubt to mock others, say rude things, and behave poorly. It also impacts his personality with bad mannerisms. He easily ignores your direction and rebellion. When you try to give him advice, your son gets emotional quickly.
To control your son’s behavior, you can invite him to do positive activities instead of playing video games, like playing hide and seek, building Legos, or watering plants. Give him limitations on utilizing the phone. It is helpful to minimize his gaming addiction.
6. Copying your bad behavior
Why is my son so emotional? Perhaps, he has learned lousy behavior from you. He quickly gets angry because he is imitating your anger. Most kids learn from their parents. You didn’t feel like teaching him to have anger. But your son has seen your severe temper when facing a problem or unfair condition. He has also built it up since his childhood.
He undoubtedly expressed his emotional feelings as you did. That is why you should manage your emotional awareness, especially in front of your son. When you show temperament, it is possible that your son will imitate your behavior.
To curb his anger, you should change his bad behavior into good behavior. Control your emotions, attitude, and words when getting angry. He will realize that you are no longer the same as before.
7. Harsh punishment
You might have ever given him a harsh punishment to discipline your son. It causes him pain, which is why he is so mean to you. He will always remember when your son was beaten, specifically for no crucial reason. You thought it seemed to work at that moment. But, the punishment has built up rebellion and anger in you.
When he remembers his punishment, it ignites his bad emotions. Punishing your son by beating him causes emotional wounds that affect his mental growth. He will be so emotional and angry with you.
To relieve your past guilt, you should keep apologizing to him. Promise that you won’t repeat the bad parenting to your son. It is quite effective to lower his memory of the past harsh punishment.
8. Getting physically uncomfortable
If you find your beloved son so angry, he is probably uncomfortable as he is so tired. You have to know the primary signs. Was he rubbing his eyes? Hyperactive? Was he yawning? Did he have fewer physical activities than usual? Those things are a sign that he is so tired. His tiredness leads to emotional behavior.
How to deal with your son’s problem? Invite him to take a nap. You can encourage him to have quiet rest time, whether you suggest listening to music, watching movies, or lying down. It is a perfect time to cuddle up and read some funny stories to him. It is practical to cool your son down.
9. Feeling powerless
Your son might say, “I do not want to eat the food.” ”No, I don’t want.” When you heard it, he was showing his power struggles. He starts getting rebellious and defiant. Even if he refuses to cooperate with you. It is a sign that he is so mean to you.
How to help the circumstance? Remember! Most people, even kids, like to be controlled. It will ignite his outbursts if you often rule out his action and behavior. As a wise parent, you should give him the healthy power to express himself.
You can invite him to give his opinion, make more choices, ask for help, and give him real responsibilities. It will enhance his confidence and power on a daily basis.
10. Feeling disconnected
Before getting angry, was your son overly complaining? Clingy? Or criticizing? If you noticed that he used to make you irritated with his behavior, perhaps he feels disconnected. You think you have given him affection and attention, but he is feeling lack of them.
Try to fix it by spending more time with him. After busy workdays, you can spend at least 10 to 20 minutes building a connection. You can invite him to play with toys, watch movies, and do other funny activities. It is a perfect way to make him feel loved and secure.
11. Feeling hurt
Why is my son so emotional? Perhaps, he is feeling hurt. He tries to act emotionally instead of communicating his problem. His emotional feeling is an excuse to get revenge and hurt back. He may say, “I don’t love you!” “I hate you.” Your son frequently bites, hits, or kicks you to express his feelings.
How do you help his feelings of hurt? You should dig the trigger up and give more empathy to your son. Give him attention by saying, “Why are you so upset? Are you feeling hurt?” After he has calmed down, you can tell him that it is normal to get angry, but don’t use aggressive action to express it.
You can also teach him to state why he is so emotional, like, “I am so emotional because the school task is overwhelming.”
12. Displacing his anger
You may have noticed your son got angry after playing with his relatives or friends. His anger seems to reflect his problem with someone else. However, he takes his anger out on you. He expresses his feelings because of a build-up of upset and stress, which are suppressed and have accumulated until he can’t handle it. So, he shows his anger over the limit.
To deal with his displaced anger, make sure that he feels safe. Call him to express the upset feelings. You can also listen to his problem and help him find a healthy way to express his anger.
13. Unable to express what he wants or needs
If you have a toddler, you often feel irritated with his behavior. He wants or needs something but is unable to express it verbally. He groans, grunts, yells, bites, or even bites your hands. It happens since he is frustrated enough.
You can teach him to express his needs verbally to avoid his anger. Try to have a better understanding of his needs. You probably need more time to understand his feelings. After you teach him how to express his needs, it can help him curb his emotional feelings.
14. Feeling of disappointment
When your son feels disappointed, it will lead to a temper tantrum. Commonly, most kids couldn’t control their disappointment. The feeling is repeated because he is not getting what they want. It leads to frustrated anger. It can also happen if you don’t allow him to have something for any reason.
Your decision not to allow him to own something causes his anger. Actually, you can make him angry, but you should give him a reward. It shows your empathy and conveys his disappointment effectively.
You can say, ”I know you are so disappointed that you cannot buy a new toy. It is probably hard for you, but I promise to buy it after you finish your study this semester.”
When your son shows his disappointment, just validate his feeling and give him empathy after he cools off. Your kindness will help him to develop his mental and physical growth. It is also effective to deal with his frustration in a healthy way.
15. Feeling misunderstood or unheard
Your beloved son may say, “You never hear my opinion’’, “why don’t you hear my point?” Those reactions belong to his upset because he felt misunderstood or unheard. He probably tries to say something, and your response is flat or just silent. Your son will be so angry with you since you don’t respond to him properly.
How to deal with this feeling? Be a good listener to your son. When he speaks, you should listen to him and give him a good response. You must try to gain the skills of ways to listen. When you have the skills, it is valuable to curb his emotional reactions.
16. Feeling anxious
Your son is so emotional because he is feeling anxious. He often expresses his anxiety by displaying his outbursts. If the anxious feeling has gone on for so long, it will worsen his development. So, don’t leave the feeling untreated. As a parent, you have to dig up the triggers.
When his anger is over the limit, the parent plays an important role in calming down his irritation. Try to have a non-threatening talk with your son. Let him express his feeling. Just listen to him and give him empathy. It will make him feel better.
17. You invade his boundaries
Your son may respond badly when you have controlled or invaded his boundaries too much. His responses are grabbing your hand, kicking you, biting you, or even hugging you. It is a sign that he feels irritated when you or someone else breaks the boundaries. He will respond angrily.
How to deal with his invaded feeling? Give him a healthy response. He will express his emotional reaction if you have broken his limit. It leads to a protective reflex instinctually. It would be best if you also taught your son to explain his boundaries clearly. So, the others are able to know the limits.
18. Bad Parenting
Why is my son so emotional? Perhaps, it is a result of your past bad parenting. Psychologically, parents with poor parenting skills affect their kids’ mental health and development. Poor parenting can impact mental health problems, such as violence, aggression, anxiety, depression, and personality disorders.
How to change dysfunctional parenting? First of all, listen to your son’s feelings and thoughts. You can hear what he wants to say. Just validate his feelings. Don’t forget to show your true love and affection. You can spend your time playing with him after busy workdays. It is quite effective for improving family bonding.
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How do you deal with an emotional boy?
First of all, I will show my acceptance and validate his feelings. After his outbursts cool down, I start to have a non-threatening talk while teaching him how to express his anger in a healthy way. I will also tell him about the consequences of his emotional behavior.
Why can’t my child control his emotions?
Your kid can’t control his emotion because of anger issues accompanying mental health conditions, like ADHD, mental disorders, bad parenting, and more. You should deal with his feelings to curb his aggressive behavior as a parent.
Is it normal for kids to be emotional?
Kids are human! They have emotional outbursts like other ages, even adults. However, you should treat his anger if the outbreaks exceed the limit. Don’t leave the anger untreated. It will worsen his critical growth period.
How do I help my emotional child?
You can accept his emotional feelings without reinforcing his anger. Just listen to him and let your kid yell or cry out. After that, you can explain the feelings and provide emotion regulation. It is effective to cope with his emotional outbursts.